Author: Amo

  • 18 Bronzemen Review

    18 Bronzemen

    As a young orphan, Shao Lung was raised in a Shaolin Temple after his grandmother abandons him there, fearing that an evil General will kill him after killing Lung’s father.

    Lung spends countless years perfecting his kung fu in order to gain revenge against the cruel General. As he reaches adulthood, Shao Lung decides he must leave the temple to discover the truth about his past and get revenge.

    But in order to do this he must he must pass the Shaolin monks most sternest test; the 18 Bronzemen.

    The 18 bronze men is a collection of fighters, some of them wearing super thick armour which make them look like robots, others painted in Bronze/Gold paint and fight in different styles within a multi-chambered labyrinth filled with a mixture of deadly traps and deadly fighters.

    Once Shao Lung passes the tests (with Carter Wong in exceptional form), the film becomes less entertaining and incredibly boring.

    Whilst Tin Peng (Shao Lung) is cast as the leading man, it’s clear that Carter Wong is the main man and out-acts, outperforms and outfights Tin Peng at every turn. Indeed, Wong is enjoyable as the star pupil of the Shaolin monastery, barking insults and pushing students to their limit and beyond.

    After Shao Lung and Tai Chung are out in the real world there’s no more bronze action – instead we have the discovery that Shao Lung is in fact the son of a Ming general who was slaughtered by Fei-Lung’s evil Ching General (realised in a blistering swordplay flashback).

    There’s also a poorly developed love interest in the pretty form of Polly Shang Kwan. Polly gets to do some kung fu, and seems to be blessed with an amazing leaping ability.

    In addition to this, there is a good sub-plot of a mole within the Shaolin monastery; who feeds the Evil Ching general with information – especially the styles of kung fu that the 18 bronze men use as well a super secret kung fu found by Shao Lung in a book.

    When the mole is uncovered to be Lung’s childhood best friend, he is aghast and demands to know why his best friend betrayed him — then comes the most convoluted twist of the movie; the best friend explains that he is the child of a high-ranking Ching soldier and gave an oath to his father, and presumably the Ching empire, that he would kill the child who showed the most zeal for destroying the Ching empire (ie: Lung).

    Adding to the twist, Carter Wong explains that he was raised by a bodyguard who saved Lung’s father and Wong, like the mole, gave an oath to protect Lung until he got revenge.

    This plot twist I found to be confusing, it seemed like Lung’s destiny was to remove the General from power; sorta like Luke Skywalker. But it did seem a bit strange that Lung was predestined to do all this, and all the people surrounding him were predestined to help Lung achieve his goal. Maybe the scriptwriters wanted to portray Lung as a Prodigal Son — it didn’t really work out.

    The end has an excellent, climatic four-way showdown with the Evil Ching General (and, for some reason, his many clones); who has learnt the skills of the Shaolin monks and constantly changes his style until Carter sacrifices himself, leaving the General open to be killed.

    The 18 Bronzemen has impressive production values and looks pretty expensive in places, and although the outcome is never in much doubt, the climatic four-way showdown is well-staged by Kuo.

    My issue with this movie is that that 18 bronze men do not offer any real threat to the heroes in this movie. They should have been the personal bodyguards of the Ching General, or at least try to kill the heroes; too many times you hear a voice boom “PASS!” as the Bronzemen stop fighting and let the heroes move to the next room.

    Although a reasonable fun film, this 70’s kung fu movie lacks real danger and wasn’t the classic all-out kung fu movie I was lead to believe.

    Overall: 4/10

  • Site back online; fixing bugs

    After two weeks, I’ve finally put the site back online. I am currently fixing bugs. Please excuse the mess.

  • Whose line is it anyway meets Richard Simmons

    Richard Simmons on Whose line is it anyway?

    What happens when you combine American Fitness Guru Richard Simmons with ABC’s “Whose line is it anyway?”

    Well, for one thing; an utterly hilarious comedy showcase that really pushes the boundaries on the ABC channel.

    Link:
    Richard Simmons on Whose line is it anyway? (YouTube)

  • Steven Seagal’s ad for mobile firm

    Steven Seagal Orange Ad

    In this spoof viral, Steven Seagal tries to pitch several romantic comedies to the “Orange” movie director — but he wants an action movie.

    I think Seagal was great to mock himself, and apparantly Seagal is meant to be in an up-coming Onion Movie too.

    Link:
    Steven Seagal’s ad for mobile firm

  • Snakes on a Plane (Review)

    Snakes on a plane

    Samuel L Jackson stars as FBI Agent Nelville Flynn who is transporting a witness for the prosecution, Sean Jones (played by Nathan Phillips), from Hawaii to Los Angeles after Jones witnesses the brutal murder of a special prosecutor by vicious crime kingpin Eddie Kim.

    In short, Eddie Kim pays off an airport baggage handler to inform him of the plane used by the FBI to transport Sean Jones to smuggle on a plane load of snakes.

    During the flight, the snakes escape their cargo hold and start invading the plane, killing people in gruesome, and sometimes hilarious manners. At some points in the film, it was getting very close to jumping straight into the whole Airplane! spoof territory. At times, I was the only one laughing at the subtle dark humor, as well as the quite obviousily Internet geek-written ideas that saw Snakes biting female and male genitlia in every which way possible.

    In a film that has had this much Internet hype, one would be forgiven for thinking this film would be very disappointing. But I found it okay, an enjoyable film that isn’t too sick, but lacks that killer blow (if you pardon the pun) that I was expecting.

    Even before this movie hit the screens, the Internet was buzzing, fan-posters, fan movies and much more were being made; all in a frenzy to jump on board the runaway freight train that was Snakes on a Plane.

    Perhaps I was expecting more of an snake-ploitation of the movie with Samuel L Jackson saying “Muftha-fucker” every five seconds, I mean the whole blogosphere was going nuts of around the whole idea that Jackson saying “MF” this and “MF” that whilst adding the word “snakes” every five seconds… unfortunately there’s only 1 time when it does delve into this when Jackson yells “That’s it! I’ve had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!”

    There are problems in the film, plot wise it’s big enough for a plane filled with snakes to fly through; other times you’re thinking “That’s just stupid”, but that’s because its a classic B movie… yeah, sure the whole 20/20 green vision may remind you of that infamous Paris Hilton sex video, but I think most of it was done with good humour.

    Apart from that, it’s very much like Lake Placid + Airport 197X + Dark humour = Classic B Movie fun in Snakes on a plane.

    Overall rating: 6/10

  • How to design web2.0 (if you really must)

    During the process of redesigning my site, I’m usually struck with awre over the many CSS sites that spring up on cssreboot, cssbeauty, etc, etc…. most of them use web2.0 styled graphics, icons, and I’m no Photoshop expert; and although I suspect some (a minority) are actually templates (from sites such as templatemonster.com) and others variations on a theme, I often find myself going back to the drawing board, stratching out my ideas and starting again.

    So, if like me, if you can use Photoshop, but lack the super skills to make super cool and chunky web2.0 icons, graphic sets, etc; how can you fake it?

    Is web2.0 really just about colour? Can chunky text, big icons and colourful interfaces really sell your site as web2.0? Is it okay just to add a little AJAX lightbox to your pictures and be done with it?

    It seems to me that web2.0 has a formula; Of course, this is just my point-of-view;

    Web2.0 = ( ( [Ajax] + Big Text + Big Icons + Colorful Interface ) * (Social Networking Value + SEO weighting * Word-of-Mouth + [PR] ) )

    Some argue that it is not necessary to have complex Rails-like frameworks for a site to be considered web2.0. Myspace uses Tables. Other copycat sites use legacy code.

    Word of Mouth and Social Networking value seem to be the killer factor though … just look at Snakes on a Plane, nearly everything on that has had some kind of social networking/inclusion and is arguably the first web2.0 movie.

    Okay, maybe I overhyped that bit. It’s debatable whether Snakes on a Plane (or SOAP) is about web2.0 social inclusion, clever PR, or just good-ol word-of-mouth.

    Anyway — let’s say you want in on web2.0, and that you want a piece of the action…. how do you start?

    Well, there are literally tons of tutorials around the net about this subject, I’ve collated some of the best together…

  • Youtube for Xbox 360?

    Microsoft has announced that it will be releasing a collection of tools that will allow independent and hobby programmers the chance to create and program games for the Xbox 360.

    Billed as the “Youtube” for Games, there will be a $99 annual subscription; but it is unclear if there will be any return to programmers. For example, will they get a royalty check from Microsoft? Will programmers have intellectual property on the games they produce? Will there be paid content/games?

    The idea of programming games for the Xbox 360 sounds incredibily mouthwatering, and I can’t wait to see how this will actually work.

    But, for those who can’t wait to start games programming, I suggest the following tools:

    Original Link:
    Xbox 360 outlines ‘youtube’ for games

    UPDATED: Added new link;

    Microsoft plans “community-powered arcade” with new XNA tools (Much more detail about the project)

  • SEO for Firefox plug-in

    SEO for Firefox plug-in

    SEOBook has developed a beta plug-in for Firefox which adds useful information to your Google and Yahoo! searching, retruning information such as:

    • PR: (Google PageRank) an estimated measure of global link authority
    • Age: age pulled from Archive.org, shows the first time a page was indexed by Archive.org’s spider. The theory is that if Archive.org found a page so did many of the major search engines.
    • Links: (Yahoo! linkdomain) shows a rough estimate of the total number of links pointing at a domain
    • .edu Link: (Yahoo! .edu linkdomain ) shows a rough estimate of the total number of .edu links pointing at a domain
    • .edu Page Link: (Yahoo! .edu link ) shows a rough estimate of the total number of .edu links pointing at a specific page
    • .gov Link: (Yahoo! .gov linkdomain ) shows a rough estimate of the total number of .gov links pointing at a domain
    • Page Links: (Yahoo! link) shows a rough estimate of the total number of links pointing at a page
    • del.icio.us: number of times a URL has been bookmarked on Del.icio.us. Heavily skewed toward techy / Web 2.0 stuff.
    • Technorati: an estimate of the total number of links to a site from blogs
    • Alexa: rank based on website traffic . Heavily skewed toward internet marketing and webmaster related resources.
    • Cached: (Google site:) shows how many pages from a site are indexed in Google
    • dmoz: searches the Google Directory to count the total number of pages from a site that are listed in DMOZ, and the total number of pages listed in DMOZ that reference that URL.
    • Bloglines: shows you how many people are subscribed to a particular blog via Bloglines.
    • dir.yahoo.com: is a site listed in the Yahoo! Directory or not.
    • WhoIs: makes it easy to look up the whois data for any site.

    Link:
    SEO for Firefox plug-in

  • Web developer’s handbook

    Vitaly Friedman has collected together a massive collection of links, blogs, cheatsheets and stuff one one page; the vast amount of links there to surf through is amazing and must have taken him ages.

    Link:
    http://www.alvit.de/handbook/

  • Jackie and Jet movie deal is almost sealed

    If there was ever a dream kung fu action movie, Jackie vs Jet would probably be it. The two superstars have not met on screen yet and the concept of them being on screen together, indeed fighting each other, has whetted many film-goers.

    A movie costarring two of the biggest names in kung fu cinema Jackie Chan and Jet Li is nearly a sealed deal, with the only outstanding issue being the script, Chan said Tuesday.

    “All the hurdles have been overcome. The only problem left is the script,” Chan told The Associated Press after a press conference to promote his new action comedy, “Rob-B-Hood.”

    “We need a script that he approves and I approve. If that goes well, shooting will start in March or April in Shanghai,” he said.

    Link:
    Jackie Chan: Movie Deal With Jet Li Near